I remember the first time I made a decision to do something for myself and my Fibromyalgia. “Self-care” my therapist called it. Giddily I took a nap with my new body pillow, a great way to be able to lay on my side but avoid the pain of pressure caused by my knees being one on top of the other, and the ache that came with no support for my upper arm and shoulder.
It sounds so simple, this kindness to myself. Somehow gravity had joined in the efforts of my Fibro to make even resting more painful, and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
Getting a pedicure had been my biggest idea previously for Self-Care, or buying higher quality dark chocolate. But doing something that would directly influence my constant companion in a positive way? This was a new thought! When Invisible even to yourself, it doesn’t come naturally to pay attention to your body enough to think that far. Especially if the main thing you’re feeling toward yourself comes with a big boo-boo lip.
I refuse to admit how many years I lived this way–ignoring my frailties (except for pouting), rather than working toward a nice cushy pillow between our knees. (Okay, decades. Close enough.) It turns out that when I started to See myself I realized how many areas need Self-Care besides my toes. To name a few:
My Mental/Emotional self,
My Physical self,
My Spiritual self.
I tend to hang out in the Mental/Emotional party room, trying to pick up pointers on how to stay out of the way of oncoming trains, or to accept and love myself flaws and all, yet I need to work on the rest.
While I was perusing the interweb, I found a simple yet profound explanation of these areas on the University of Texas at Dallas student counseling site. I may not know the Texas Two Step, but at 62 I find I’m still a student at this whole life thing.
Here’s their introduction:
Self-care is a necessary and vital part of maintaining emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. It’s more than an occasional manicure or special treat. Self-care is a way of living each day incorporating behaviors that help you feel refreshed, replenish your motivation and help you grow as a person. Building reliable self-care habits now can affect your quality of life now and in the future.
A good way to start is to take an honest look at what you’re doing to manage every day stress. Are your close relationships and daily activities adding to your sense of overall stress? If so, take small, realistic steps toward change to help make a significant difference in your quality of life.
Like anything else it takes practice. Here’s the rest of the article listing ideas.
I will do this for myself today: while doing chores I don’t particularly want to do I’ll listen to an audiobook. (I love to read, so I’m thinking this will make the time pass more quickly and pleasantly. Then I won’t be super grumpy after. I hope. I’ll let you know.)
The BringYourOwnBeverage conversation: what area of your own life is the most difficult to practice self-care? What’s one small thing you could introduce to your day to deal with the stress of this area?
Waaambulance?? Yes. Love that! One thing I do to try to be nice to myself is to put easy items on my to-do list (like eat breakfast or take a shower). That way I can cross things off and start to feel like I’m getting some things done. I try to help others (when I’m at my best) and make their lives a little easier and more positive, so I’m learning to do that for myself, too. The other thing I’m trying to do is to take the time to take walks, both for my health and my centeredness. Sometimes, when I’m being hard on myself, I feel like I don’t have time for walks and I should be working instead. Such a lie.
Oh boy do I understand that! On the hard days I think that makes so much sense, having easier things on the list. Yesterday was one of those for me, so I gave myself super-easy paper sorting tasks that required no brain involvement. And it’s so true about walking–I’m actually starting to miss getting out in The Nature when I don’t. And you ALWAYS make me feel better. 🙂
And Waambulance is from the Bruce Willis movie The Kid.