the lies in our bones

learning the truth and loving ourselves

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Tag: I have to be perfect

November 6, 2022November 6, 2022 julielelder

Shame is a Stinky Bully

September 16, 2022September 16, 2022 julielelder

Coming Back to Me

March 21, 2022May 19, 2022 julielelder

Weighty Matters

October 28, 2021 julielelder

Shame and Factory Thirds

June 18, 2021June 18, 2021 julielelder

Beating Myself Up (and other unhelpful hobbies)

June 8, 2021June 8, 2021 julielelder

The Momarch

two angel statues
April 14, 2021 julielelder

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL and Other Reasons I Love Patina

September 2, 2020 julielelder

I’m Not Defective. (my therapist told me so)

May 16, 2019 julielelder

5 Easy Steps to People Pleasing

January 8, 2019 julielelder

Self-Care for Survivors (& other mysteries)

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change is bad I'll always be the same I'll always feel this way I'm ALL bad if I fail once I'm at the mercy of others I'm defective because I'm different I'm Less-Than I'm stupid I'm too broken I'm too broken to be loved I'm too needy I'm unlovable I'm weak if I can't fix it I'm who others say I am I'm worthless when I'm weak I am Invisible I can't help myself anyway I can make others happy I don't deserve my own kindness I don't deserve respect and love I have to be perfect i should be psychic I should have known i should just be quiet i should only look happy it's selfish to love myself my voice doesn't matter my weight is my worth others' words mean more others should always come first

recent posts

  • Shame is a Stinky Bully
  • What I Heard Myself Tell My Therapist
  • “I Almost Brought You Flowers” and other shit I’ve put up with
  • Coming Back to Me
  • Approaching the Rapids

recent comments

julielelder on “I Almost Brought You Fl…
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julielelder on Crying For Silly Things
Susy Flory on Crying For Silly Things
julielelder on Me: Becoming

archives

Top Posts & Pages

Own your story
The Informative Meltdown aka My Life As A Trauma Mama
How Can I Abandon Myself When I'm Always Right Here?
Daring to have a need, and wilder yet, meeting it!
The Good Girl Lie
Learning to let go.
Trauma Informed Living
Adventures in Living Alone
Love
Coming Back to Me

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books & articles fears flaws & frailties guilt lies mental health psychology quotes self-care self-discovery the occasional poem tools trauma truth
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the lies in our bones
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